Nov 11th. Today is Remembrance day, it is also the Day my Brother, Died one year ago. So this morning I will attend service to remember our soldiers. Moreover I will pay special remembrance to my Brother. Not a day has gone by where I did not think of him, for many many months just looking at his picture or looking at this memorial site would cause me to break down into hysterics. I also suffer from severe depression. This was the cause of Doug's death and it was nearly the cause of mine. So I believe I understand what he went through. Tragic to think of all that education and talent gone. Again I sit here in uncontrolable tears trying to understand the lack of his communication, looking for help, if you will. And especially his method of suicide. The thought of this will haunt me forever. But I try to remember the fun times we had, which were many, drunken movie nights. Terrifying high speed jaunts on the back roads in his car, watching him get pissed off cause he made a typing error at 200 wpm. But the one thing that sticks out in my mind the most is something that he said to me during a coversation. He would look at me with a very blank (poker) face and say "eww, thats just wrong" Guess he didn't fully appreciate my sense of Humor...LOL, I wish I had told him how much I enjoyed his company when I had the chance.